Remember, a few months ago, when I was too afraid to read the first draft of the first monologue of my first play in public? I said that I would try again the next time around. Well, the next time around is here. This Wednesday, I will stand up in front of living, breathing people and I will expose my precious words to their listening ears. I’m scared, but I have to attend. You see, I’ve set myself up. I’ve told all of you, sweet readers, that I will be there. I have also announced it to all the students and teachers in my program at school. People have written it on their calendars.
This is my chance to grow larger than myself. This is my chance to set aside my fear and my self-conscious ego and be brave. This is a small step toward living a fully sacred life. I wrote a letter to my ego yesterday and here is what I said:
You no longer get to control my life. For too long you have guided my choices from a place of fear. You have been keeping me small. Well, I’m done with you and your small ways! Instead, I am choosing to live from the God-space inside of me and I will live as large and beautiful and shiny and sparkly and bold and fabulous as the Holy wants me to be!
Does this letter take away my fear? No. But, it gives me permission to acknowledge my fear and let it go. Instead of resting in a place of nervousness and anxiety, I have grounded myself in the sacred. I am rooted to the Holy Calm that resides deep in my belly and from that place I will rise up and rejoice!
With my pen.