Permission

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Today I did not have to work. I stayed inside my little apartment because the temperature outside never went above freezing. I spent the day catching up on my favorite TV shows (Survivor, The Amazing Race, Once Upon a Time), cleaning up my email inbox, compulsively checking Facebook, napping, and reading Dan Brown.

I ate leftover pizza, drank hot chocolate mixed with coffee, made egg drop soup (twice).

I spent most of the day in bed.

And I felt guilty. Not just a twinge of guilt, but massive worry that I was being “bad,” doing something “wrong,” neglecting some important need in my life. I felt guilty for resting.

I thought I should be working on a writing project, cleaning my desk, organizing my bookshelves. I thought I should be out getting exercise, doing yoga, returning work emails.

But, it is winter. All of nature is resting. And after five years of non-stop graduate school deadlines I need rest too. It is okay to rest. I am giving myself permission to rest. And, dear reader, I am passing on that permission to you.

Tomorrow morning it might snow. I hope that it does. I would like to wake up to that kind of beauty. A reminder of quiet, of reflection, of rest before waking.

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